How to turn fear from a source of anxiety and paralysis into fuel for action and achievement.

Chris Guillebeau travels the world and writes for a small army of remarkable people at chrisguillebeau.com. This talk is about crocodiles, killer whales, writing your own permission slip, and changing the world.

It is only by accepting, or even embracing, the possibility of failure that we can achieve success.

All my clients come to me in order to affect change in their life. But whether it be life coaching, conquering phobias or overcoming writer’s block, the one question that everyone always asks is how long will it take.

In response I always ask my client to clap their hands.

They often pause, unsure as to what significance clapping their hands will be. Usually I have to encourage them a little and say go clap your hands just once. Some people need more encouragement than others, but most people will eventually clap their hands for me.

Once they have clapped I ask two questions: How long did the clap last, and how long did it take before you actually performed the clap. Because change takes the same amount of time as clapping your hands together. One short, sharp clap. A brief instance. That is how long change takes. It is instantaneous, one moment you are in one state the next you have changed. The only question is how long will you hesitate before you make the decision to change?

All change happens instantaneously. The events that lead up to that moment of change maybe be long and arduous. But when the change happens you will be able to point to one specific moment when it happened. One moment you will be the same and the next you will be changed.

Of course what most people are asking is how long will it take to decide to change, how long will they hesitate before committing to the change. But there is only one person who can answer that question. Because there is only one person who can make that decision.

As the old joke goes:

Q. How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb.

A. Only one, but the light bulb must really want to change.

You have prepared the ground by realising that you need to make some change, maybe specifically such as knowing you finally want to over come a particular problem, or more generally wanting a life coach because you know that you are not performing at 100% of your true potential.

I can give you the tools and skills you need to make that change at a fundamental level.

At its simplest Writer’s Block is defined as “a phenomenon involving the temporary loss of ability to write.” Having battled Writer’s Block for 19 years I can tell you from personal experience that such a simple definition does not do the phenomenon any justice.

Writer’s block can have many causes and many symptoms. To mis-quote Leo Tolstoy all happy writers are happy in the same way; every blocked writer is blocked in their own unique way.

Some causes of block stem from creative problems within an author’s work itself. Or a writer may simply run out of inspiration. Other writers take on a project that is misconceived, or beyond the author’s experience or ability complete. with the result that they end up being totally out of their depth.

The symptoms of writers block vary from the stereotypical staring at a blank page unable to think of a single idea, to the opposite extreme where a writer has so many “good” ideas that they are unable to focus on just one for fear of losing all the others.

However if it means that you are not producing any finished, completed works then you are suffering from writer’s block. Regardless of how many words you are writing, how many story plots you are devising, or how many brilliant ideas you are having.

In my own case the root cause of stem from my own insecurities, self doubt and anxiety. Theses feelings have been the root of both extremes of writers blocks that I have wrestled with over the years.

Writer’s blocks may also be produced by the circumstances of a writer’s life or career: physical illness, depression, the end of a relationship, financial pressures or a sense of failure can all lead to writer developing block.

For professional, or would-be professional, writers the pressure to produce work may in itself contribute to a writer’s block, especially if they are compelled to work in ways that are against their natural inclination i.e. too fast or in some unsuitable style or genre.

And in other cases, writer’s block may also come from feeling overwhelmed by a previous big success, with the writer feeling unbearable pressure to find something to equal their previous success.

There are many solutions for writer’s block.

For writer’s block caused by pressure better work organisation and time management can be of enormous benefit. A good support group such as a critique group or writing workshop can help with writing exercises and motivational support. But for more difficult cases an individual consultation with an experienced writing coach can be invaluable.

Many years ago I got caught up in the Rubik’s Cube craze of the 1980′s(The first time around). I tried again and again to solve the cube. But could only succeed in getting the top 2/3 of the cube’s colours aligned properly. I finally gave in and bought a book and discovered that with a halve solved  Rubik’s Cube you have to scramble the top two layers in order to recombine the colours into a finished cube.

I had fallen into the classic trap:

Definitely not loosing now is better that maybe winning in the future.

In other words we are so caught up in keeping what we have that we are often afraid of taking the last few steps needed to complete our goals for fear of losing what we have already achieved and ending up with nothing.

By not wanting to lose anything we end up losing everything.

I have a friend who one day mentioned that he’d like to take up squash. At that time I was consulting at a company working with a guy who was a squash fanatic. So I suggested they get together. So they started playing together regularly.

Time after time the squash player would come into work and boast of how he had beat my friend yet again. I asked my friend why he kept playing. “I want to learn how to play squash,” was his answer.

This went on for over 3 months. Then the squash player came in and said how my friend had “gotten lucky” and beat him. Then he lost to my friend for the second time. The next week the squash fanatic was “very busy now days. It’s hard to find the time.” And he no longer played my friend.

I caught up with my friend and asked him for his side of the story.

His explanation was simple, “I lost 15 games in a row because every time I played him I tried something different. He won 15 games in a row by doing the same thing each and every game. The 16th time I tried something different I won. The 17th time we played I did what I’d done in match 16 he did what he had done in all 16 matches. I won. The 17th time he did the same thing yet again. I built on what I had discovered in match 16. I won again. We never played a 18th match.”

I no longer consult at that firm but from time to time I still run into the fanatical squash player.  I always ask him about his squash games with my friend. He always boasts about beating him 15 times in a row. When I ask when the next game will be he is always too busy to play.

He had learned how to win squash games by playing in a certain way that would get him a certain amount of success. He had learned to judge which players he could beat and which he couldn’t, and so chose which players he would play accordingly. He had decided he had learned enough and didn’t want to learn anything new. So he didn’t.

The trouble is the world keeps changing. New things keep happening all the time.

If you stop learning you will get left behind.

If you need help learning how to learn again, or if you have just gotten a little stuck, phone Declan on 087 2420699 or email declan@conspiracyofmediocrity.com and we will get you moving again.

Esperience has though us that not being wrong is more important thast trying new things.

There is no short term benefit in

I asked him if he was still playing squash with X

His explanation was simple, “I lost 25 games in a row because every time I played him I tried something different. He wone 25 games in a row by doing the same thing each and every game. The 26th time I tried something different I won. The 27th time we played I did what I’d done in match 26 he did what her done in all 26 matches. I wone. The 28th time he did the same thing yet again. I did what I discovered in match 26. We’ve never played a 28th match.”

From time to time I run into X.  I always ask him about his squash games with Y. He always boasts about beating him 25 times in a row. I ask when the next game will be. “It’s hard to find the time, I’m very busy now days.” Very busy being sucessful doing the same thing he’s always done, only now there is a pack of younger guys snapping at his heels who can do it faster and cheaper.