How to turn fear from a source of anxiety and paralysis into fuel for action and achievement.

Chris Guillebeau travels the world and writes for a small army of remarkable people at chrisguillebeau.com. This talk is about crocodiles, killer whales, writing your own permission slip, and changing the world.

I had fallen into the classic trap:

Definitely not loosing now is better that maybe winning in the future.

In other words we are so caught up in keeping what we have that we are often afraid of taking the last few steps needed to complete our goals for fear of losing what we have already achieved and ending up with nothing.

By not wanting to lose anything we end up losing everything.

I have a friend who one day mentioned that he’d like to take up squash. At that time I was consulting at a company working with a guy who was a squash fanatic. So I suggested they get together. So they started playing together regularly.

Time after time the squash player would come into work and boast of how he had beat my friend yet again. I asked my friend why he kept playing. “I want to learn how to play squash,” was his answer.

This went on for over 3 months. Then the squash player came in and said how my friend had “gotten lucky” and beat him. Then he lost to my friend for the second time. The next week the squash fanatic was “very busy now days. It’s hard to find the time.” And he no longer played my friend.

I caught up with my friend and asked him for his side of the story.

His explanation was simple, “I lost 15 games in a row because every time I played him I tried something different. He won 15 games in a row by doing the same thing each and every game. The 16th time I tried something different I won. The 17th time we played I did what I’d done in match 16 he did what he had done in all 16 matches. I won. The 17th time he did the same thing yet again. I built on what I had discovered in match 16. I won again. We never played a 18th match.”

I no longer consult at that firm but from time to time I still run into the fanatical squash player.  I always ask him about his squash games with my friend. He always boasts about beating him 15 times in a row. When I ask when the next game will be he is always too busy to play.

He had learned how to win squash games by playing in a certain way that would get him a certain amount of success. He had learned to judge which players he could beat and which he couldn’t, and so chose which players he would play accordingly. He had decided he had learned enough and didn’t want to learn anything new. So he didn’t.

The trouble is the world keeps changing. New things keep happening all the time.

If you stop learning you will get left behind.

If you need help learning how to learn again, or if you have just gotten a little stuck, phone Declan on 087 2420699 or email declan@conspiracyofmediocrity.com and we will get you moving again.

Evil Figure

While children’s TV shows and movies, especially those featuring superheros and supervillains, are primarily aimed at entertainment, they do have some educational qualities to redeem them.
For instance take the good role model that the evil villain gives to young impressionable children.
Week after week the evil villain tries to take over the world. He (occasionally she) thinks up some evil scheme, invests lots of time and money building advanced machines and working out to the last detailed how to neutralise the superhero, who is the only person who stands between them and total world domination.
Week after week the supervillain gets off to a great start. Catching the superhero by surprise he defeats him once, twice, even three times. The evil villain believes that this time he has got it right, he has left no stone unturned, he has thought of every angle, there is no loophole for the superhero to escape.
But week after week just as the evil villain is about to achieve his victory, just as total power is within his grasp, the superhero bounces back and in one unexpected, cataclysmic plot twist, the superhero defeats the villain at the eleventh hour.
On the surface this might seem to be a simplistic, even stereotypical, story of good versus evil.
But from the evil villain’s point of view it is a story, week after week, encouraging him to never give up on his dream. The evil villain pursues his dream of total world power week after week with dogged persistence.
Remember the “hero” has to win every week, the evil villain only has to win once. By that I do not mean to imply some prophecy of doom. What I mean is while you might fail 99 times, as long as you have worked hard, followed your dream and given it your best shot you are not a failure.
In the end you only have to succeed once to be a success.
So take a leaf from Dr. Evil’s super-villain’s handbook and never give up. As long as you can see your goal you can reach it.

Believe it. Achieve it.

Steps in the Sand

And for me taking that first step is the easiest thing in the world to. It is taking the second step, and the third step and the fourth step, step after step, day after day, even year after year, that is the hard part.
I have taken so many first steps that I’ve probably completed 1,000 “1,000 mile journeys”. But because they have all been first steps I have completed relatively little. I have just walked 1,000 little steps around and around in a circle. An uneven staggered circle as a burst of enthusiasm propels me in one direction, and then the next big idea propels me in the opposite.
And so at the start of each journey I resolve to myself that this time I will complete my journey. I will make a map, a plan of what I want to archive. I will list my goals. I will do a to-do list. I will take all the necessary steps needed to complete my journey.
But even then I don’t want to take all those little steps. I want efficiency. I want speed. I want instant gratification.
I don’t want 1,000 little steps. I want one great leap forward. One giant step to take me right to the end. One lotto win that will make my life perfect.
I have started so many journeys not looking at all the little steps, but looking only at the result. “I am looking at the big picture,” I tell myself. I visualise myself standing on the summit of the mountain, not bothering with all the rivers and gullies that stand in my way.
I look for one burst of enthusiasm, one big jump that will take me over all those little rivers and gullies. And then I will magically find myself at the rainbow’s end.
But all those big giant steps look so big. Each one is such a big leap. Each one such a irrevocable commitment. Each one so momentous that I just can’t make myself take the plunge. I just stand, tethering on the edge, until my next brilliant idea takes me back in the opposite direction.
But now I have realised that they are all the same journey. All those false starts are my journey. I have only one life, there is only one journey and each day I take another step, regardless of whether or not I wish it. Each day I am one step closer to the end. I get no choice in whether or not to take each step. But I do get a choice of what direction I take. Each day I get a choice of doing what I want with that day.
Now I no longer look for that great leap forward. I no longer want to suddenly be transported to the end. I want to take one little step forward: write one post on my blog, write one page on my novel, help my children discover one new, exciting thing about the wonderful life they are leading.
And that is all I need to do. Just take one little step in the direction I want to go in. And enjoy each and every moment of this wonderful life that I am privileged to live.
And in due time I will reach the end of my journey, as all journeys must come to an end. But in the meantime I intend to enjoy as many of those little steps as I can possibly squeeze in to my life.