The Pleasure/Pain Principle of Change
In some ways human beings are very simple. We like to do things that give us pleasure and we avoid doing things that give us pain.
But sometimes this pleasure/pain principle can be inverted. For instance in my work with smoking cessation clients I often find that those who come to me for help to stop smoking dread the new smoke free life that is ahead of them when they give up smoking. In fact this is often at the root of why they may have tried and failed to give up smoking in the past. Everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health, and for your wallet and that you end up with bad breath and smelling like a used ashtray. But instead of looking at all the things that they gain by giving up cigarettes: Better Health, More Money, Clean Breath, etc. some stop smoking clients focus on all the negative things: “I’m going to put on weight”, “I’m not going to fit in with my friends any more”, “What will I do to de-stress?”, “Will I start fidgeting with my hands?”
Yet, if you buy a brand new car do you look at the shiny new paint work and wish for the dull and scratched paint of your old car. When you sit inside and smell that new car smell do you wish for the old smell of your old car. When you start it up and feel the smooth running brand new engine do you wish for the clunky old engine of your last car. Or do you sit into your new car look at the shiny dashboard and bright displays, smell the unique new car smell and feel the smooth power of a brand new engine.
And so it is with with any change in your life. If you focus on the pain you will experience more pain than pleasure. If you concentrate on the pleasure, on the new benefits of of your new life, so you will experience more pleasure then pain. If you focus on the pain then the change in your life will be painful. If you focus on the pleasure then change will be pleasurable.
So why choose pain when you can choose pleasure?