In response I always ask my client to clap their hands.

They often pause, unsure as to what significance clapping their hands will be. Usually I have to encourage them a little and say go clap your hands just once. Some people need more encouragement than others, but most people will eventually clap their hands for me.

Once they have clapped I ask two questions: How long did the clap last, and how long did it take before you actually performed the clap. Because change takes the same amount of time as clapping your hands together. One short, sharp clap. A brief instance. That is how long change takes. It is instantaneous, one moment you are in one state the next you have changed. The only question is how long will you hesitate before you make the decision to change?

All change happens instantaneously. The events that lead up to that moment of change maybe be long and arduous. But when the change happens you will be able to point to one specific moment when it happened. One moment you will be the same and the next you will be changed.

Of course what most people are asking is how long will it take to decide to change, how long will they hesitate before committing to the change. But there is only one person who can answer that question. Because there is only one person who can make that decision.

As the old joke goes:

Q. How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb.

A. Only one, but the light bulb must really want to change.

You have prepared the ground by realising that you need to make some change, maybe specifically such as knowing you finally want to over come a particular problem, or more generally wanting a life coach because you know that you are not performing at 100% of your true potential.

I can give you the tools and skills you need to make that change at a fundamental level.

But sometimes this pleasure/pain principle can be inverted. For instance in my work with smoking cessation clients I often find that those who come to me for help to stop smoking dread the new smoke free life that is ahead of them when they give up smoking. In fact this is often at the root of why they may have tried and failed to give up smoking in the past. Everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health, and for your wallet and that you end up with bad breath and smelling like a used ashtray. But instead of looking at all the things that they gain by giving up cigarettes: Better Health, More Money, Clean Breath, etc. some stop smoking clients focus on all the negative things: “I’m going to put on weight”, “I’m not going to fit in with my friends any more”, “What will I do to de-stress?”, “Will I start fidgeting with my hands?”

Yet, if you buy a brand new car do you look at the shiny new paint work and wish for the dull and scratched paint of your old car. When you sit inside and smell that new car smell do you wish for the old smell of your old car. When you start it up and feel the smooth running brand new engine do you wish for the clunky old engine of your last car. Or do you sit into your new car look at the shiny dashboard and bright displays, smell the unique new car smell and feel the smooth power of a brand new engine.

And so it is with with any change in your life. If you focus on the pain you will experience more pain than pleasure. If you concentrate on the pleasure, on the new benefits of of your new life, so you will experience more pleasure then pain. If you focus on the pain then the change in your life will be painful. If you focus on the pleasure then change will be pleasurable.

So why choose pain when you can choose pleasure?